i’m always alone . . . . .

at the end of the day
it’s just me

i keep thinking
i’ve found partnership
of even the most tenuous sort
but i’m always alone
at the end of the day
crawl into my single bed
cry my lonely tears
untended

grit my teeth
stiffen my upper lip
toughen up
don’t care
embrace my solitude
not a dam
for my tears
amongst those choices

i ‘console’ myself
these days
with the imperceptible
perfect man
who can never exist
but can always be there
lying besides me

copyright 2007 by Kia Gabrielle McLean